Commit thy works unto the LORD, and thy thoughts shall be established.
~ Proverbs 16:3
I have never been diagnosed with Attention Deficit Disorder, but I have had all the symptoms from the time I was very young. At that time, A.D.D. was not even known. I remember my mother saying, “Wake up and pay attention, Jenny. You need to know what’s going on around you.” What my mother did not know, is that my mind was going in many directions at one time.
Unless it’s a riveting story, listening is a difficult task for me, especially when it’s a slow, long, predictable monologue, with many details. I have difficulty with books that have too many details, with a foreseeable ending. I grow bored. Focusing is something I have been working on my whole life.
You see in my mind, I can do math, think of an errand, remember something, recognize a song playing in the background, and do hand work, all at the same time as half listening to the talker. This is the funny thing; God gave me a husband who is a talker, uses many words and descriptions, and tells longs stories. So God has had me in a training ground for nearly 50 years. Many times my husband is hurt that I am only half listening, and his response is justifiable. I confess, I am still learning.
I have prayed many times asking God to help me focus. If I really work on it during one of my husband’s particularly long stories, with God’s help, I can manage. I find that if I put down my hand work and look directly at him, it will sometimes help, but then again, I may start looking at his hair thinking, “He needs to get a haircut.” If my husband could spend a day in my mind, he would see that It’s not lack of caring, it’s my struggle to focus.
Gratefully, God understands and can keep up with all my thought processes. God also understands when I start a prayer and go off in my mind in many directions. I let my prayer be this, “God, let all things I think throughout this day, be a prayer to you.” Then I know that when I have started with praise and find my mind starts wandering to problems and concerns, I know God has already heard them. I let my mind be in a prayerful attitude all day.
If my mind ever goes into something that is not Godly, He quickly snaps me to consciousness, where I ask Him to guard my thoughts. God forgives me and He knows me through and through. He knows my intensions are towards Him, even when I mindlessly recite The Lord’s Prayer, thinking on a myriad of other things.
I find that getting on my knees, and praying out loud, actually helps me to focus, somewhat. But even if my mind does wander, God loves me, and gently brings my thoughts back to Him. When I daily commit myself and all I do, to Him, He not only will establish my thoughts, but He accepts me, just as I am.
Dearest Lord, I praise you for my struggle with focusing, because I know that through my difficulties, you make me a better person. In Your Son's Name I pray, Amen
~ Jenny Calvert